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If you are looking at this website you have some pain and distress in your life that you would like to address. For 31 years I have supported individuals, couples and families as they seek to heal broken, painful or disconnected relationships.
When working with individuals I develop a strategic treatment plan to create the greatest healing benefit possible. This plan will give us a clear beginning, middle and end to the therapy.
In my work with couples I promote increased emotional safety and bonding in the relationship through EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy). When I first began doing couples therapy, I worked very hard with my couples on improving their communication skills. Unfortunately, good communication skills did not seem to make much of a difference for my couples. On some level, I knew that what I really wanted for my couples is for them to feel emotionally safe with one another. I wanted them to have the ability to turn to each other for contact, care and comfort. I knew that if they could each be vulnerable as well as attuned and comforting to one another, their bond with each other would be fortified. When couples are truly bonded, they can go through anything together and feel supported. They begin to carry burdens they experience together, instead of in isolation or turning to others for that support. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is like a road map to this process of bonding and connection.
If you choose to work with me, I believe that together we can create the life you want and deserve!
Degrees and Certifications
- Master's Degree in Pastoral Counseling from St., Thomas Seminary
- Licensed Professional Counselor, LPC
- Certified Addictions Counselor III
- Certified by National Board of Counselors
- Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist and Approved Supervisor by ICEEFT
- Certified Brain spotting Therapist through Developer and Trainer David Grand, Ph.D.
- Co-Founder of Boulder Community for Emotionally Focused Therapy - Boulder EFT
I have been in the field of psychotherapy since 1986. I am grateful and honored to be able to assist individuals, couples and families in healing trauma; whether it be from one or more serious negative events or relational trauma caused by negative patterns between couple partnerships or other family members.
I am an attachment specialist and believe that we, as mammals, have a “cradle to grave” longing for deep human connection. We need to be seen, heard, and attuned to when we are upset. We need our feelings to be validated by another person.
The impact of trauma can leave a person with a fragile nervous system. The person can experience flashbacks and states of dysregulation. It can create fight, flight or freeze patterns of behavior, leaving one feeling alone and disconnected from oneself and loved ones. Some people cope with this by withdrawing into chemical or behavioral addictions. Others cope by trying to “pull themselves up by the bootstraps” and suffer silently. In either case, there is a sense of brokenness and hurt that lingers.
What we truly need in these times of distress is the ability to turn to another and receive contact, care and comfort. We need to be seen and validated in this broken place. In an authentic sense, this is what a therapist provides.
I work with individuals to create a strategic plan of healing past life events using Brain spotting or EMDR. Together we review the significant events that still impact the individual due to the negative beliefs or patterns formed from those events. Next, we process and release those traumas one by one or in groups. As the brain is rewired, new, more positive and healthy beliefs are formed as a result. The healed self lives with more compassion for self and others and is more available to live out of this place. The healed self chooses relationships that are inherently healthier.
My passion is working with couples to strengthen their bond through Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. Couples often create negative patterns in their relationships when they don’t feel emotionally safe and are not getting their needs met. We are constantly coding the behavior of our partner and can misinterpret or misperceive this behavior easily. These misperceptions lead to frustration and anger which can push the partner further away. Under the frustration, is generally a more vulnerable emotion such as hurt, fear or sadness. Under those vulnerable feelings are attachment needs such as love, security, acceptance and respect.