Choosing A Therapist
Wisdom,
empathy, compassion and character are all attributes you'll want your
therapist to have, but they aren't enough. Knowledge and good
professional training are essential. Individuals often wonder if they
would do better with a female or a male therapist. Trust your instincts
to determine if the gender of the therapist is a significant issue for
you. It could be that the nature of your particular problem, as well as
your own preferences, will lead to a decision that is best suited to
you. Choose what feels right for you personally.
Basic questions to ask that will help you decide if a therapist is right for you include:
1. "What expertise do they have with my type of problem?"
Although
the therapist doesn't necessarily need to have had experience in
helping with your exact problem, she or he should be at least familiar
with your type of situation and be prepared to tell you how they've
helped others in similar circumstances.
2. "What do they think is usually the cause of most people's problems?"
There
are many ways to approach people's problems. Depending on their
personal background, training, and preferences, therapists attribute
problems to different sources. Some look to childhood events, some to
the interrelationship of family members, others to faulty thinking, bad
habits, or societal and cultural influences. Make sure your therapist's
beliefs are at least somewhat in sync with your own views.
3. "What is their fee?"
If
you have no mental health insurance coverage, or you must pay a portion
of the fee out of pocket, determine if you are able to comfortably
afford the therapist's fee. During the first session, you and the
therapist will determine an approximate length of therapy necessary to
help with your particular issues and goals which will provide you with
a "ballpark" figure for the total cost of therapy.
4. "What would my appointment schedule be?"
If
time is a factor (e.g., if your only availability for appointments is
on Monday evenings, or every other week), you should make sure that the
therapist can accommodate your requirementsand will be comfortable
working with you on that basis.
When you feel confident that a
particular therapist's overall criteria meets your needs, you're ready
for the first phone call. Although you might be feeling nervous during
this initial conversation with the therapist, it can still offer an
opportunity to evaluate how clearly you are able to communicate with
one another and how the rapport feels. Remember, you are the one doing
the choosing.
It's important to remember that therapy is a much,
much richer experience than just problem-solving. The foundation of
good therapy is the relationship you and the therapist build together.
Because this relationship is going to be so crucial to the
effectiveness of your therapy, it is essential you find someone with
whom you feel a comfortable connection, someone who makes you feel
understood and accepted, a therapist who creates and maintains an
environment within which you can feel safe to explore even the most
deeply felt sources of pain or conflict.
